We're scared but we ain't shakin', kinda bent, but we ain't breakin'

Tonight I am borrowing a page from my wife's blog and making a list of the things that I am thankful for. There is a lot and I am a little tired of focusing on things that are negative.

- I truly have the best friends in the world. I have two heterosexual life partners who are everything I could ever hope for. Megs and Bonnie, you guys really are the best and I can't even imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't met you. Well actually I can cause padded hospital walls and a strait-jacket are pretty easy to picture. And although life gets in the way sometimes I hope you guys know how much I love you both. And not just you guys either, each and every one of my friends has brought me something special. I love you all and my life would me incomplete if any of you were missing from it.

- Good news from doctors. It is SO cliched to say that things with my Grandpa have given me a new view of life. But it is so true. Because things have turned out as well as they have I get a second chance. And I don't just mean with my Grandpa. Now that I've experienced how quickly your world can turn upside down and just how fragile life is I've realized a few things. Nothing is as important as the people that you love and the things in life that make you happy. And while work and everything unpleasant is necessary sometimes to make those things happen, they are what you have to value and find time for and just appreciate. So from now on I won't hesitate to tell someone how much they mean to me or do something that I want to do. Cause if you don't do it then you may never have the chance.

- Work. Alright so there are days when I really really really hate my job. But I have a job. And I do work with almost all of my best friends. It could be a lot worse. I may not always look forward to going into work but once I get there I like it.

- That everyone important in my life that I have told about my decisions for the future have supported me and told me that I have to do what will make me happy. Alright so maybe that's the reason they're important to me but regardless - thank you. You make a very scary decision exciting.

- Anyone who actually reads this... and sticks it out through my long, sometimes incoherent posts.

- Last but not least. I am most thankful for what I thought I would never have. I never let myself hope that I could be this happy or that things could be this amazing. Now every day I am torn between wanting to freeze every minute to remember forever or wanting to fast forward to the future because I am so excited to see what it holds. It took so long, it took so much but I never imagined that the reward would be this great. Brian, there's a quote on my wall that says a true lover always feels in debt to the one he loves. I owe you so much for the happiness that you have brought to me. And for anyone who reads this who rolls their eyes and thinks we're not going to make it - I am not thankful for your negativity but I am thankful that I have the chance to prove you wrong.