You have a gun to my heart but its not my most vulnerable spot

"One of the schools in Tlon has reached the point of denying time. It reasons that the present is undefined, that the future has no other reality than as present hope, that past is no more than present memory... Another maintains that the universe is comparable to those code systems in which not all the systems have meaning, and in which only that which happens ever three hundredth night is true."
-Tlon, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius - Jorge Luis Borges

For those of you who missed my rapidly deleted post yesterday I will repeat. Borges was an author who was rammed down our throats in English. Grass, Borges and Kafka in one class came close to turning me off of literature completely. Its funny how quickly your entire perspective on something can change. Somedays now I need Borges to describe the "unreality" of my life.

"It has been a very long day" she thinks at 3:59am. This as she looks around the room for her misplaced feelings of legitimacy and the permanent marker she had once used to chart her future.

Its looking like the seven year plan has become somewhat more of a necessity. There are some things that I have learned about life recently that might influence that plan.

1. Regrets are for people who let their fear stand in the way of the chances they want to take and the moments they will want to cherish for the rest of their lives. If you let fear stand in the way of living then you're not going to live.
2. Seven year plans are bullshit. If you can manage to plan a week you're doing well. From now on there will be room left in the plan for events and people who hijack your life. You may end up on a different path then you started on but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
3. Have faith because from that faith you can draw hope. And once you have hope its so easy to love. And the love in your life gives you strength. There is the story of my tattoo which will read "Faith Hope Love Strength".
4. I didn't think that I was capable of having unconditional and patient feelings. But I am. I do. I am much more permanent then the black marker in which I drew my original seven year plan.