Happiest Birthday Ever!!!

So I turned twenty two hours ago... sitting at Fiasco's with my heterosexual life partner. A hug at midnight and back to the conversation at hand. And already I can say its the best birthday I've ever had. I hate my birthday... but I have a feeling this birthday could change that.

Surprise surprise - its late at night and I'm feeling nostalgic about being nineteen. It was in retrospect a really really really good year even if it was full of a lot of highs. One year ago today I was at Legends with Shaun, Sara and Jay. Sara and Jay had just gotten engaged and I was miserable at school wanting only to move back home. It really doesn't take very long for your life to change completely.

This year I made some of the best friends of my life. I know that no matter what happens these are the friendships that will stay with me. Just as some of my friends from high school are still with me. And it definitely changed my life. At Thanksgiving dinner my Mom always makes us all say one thing we are thankful for - for me tonight it was my friends. My life would be lacking so much without my friends. Meeting you all was the best thing that could have happened to me. Hurray for heterosexual life partners! I'm so happy here now and now I wouldn't want to go home! Except that I really miss my family. A lot. But things are good at home and they don't need me. They miss me, but they don't need me.

I learned a lot this year... about my priorities and what I really want from life. Turns out I had no idea what I wanted in high school. Who knew that the goals you made then would turn out to be ideals that you laugh at now.

I met my best friend this year. I don't think anyone will actually be surprised when I say how much I care about him, beyond friendship. Beyond not being able to imagine my life had we not met, I don't want to. I wasn't heading to happy places but that changed the first day we ever really spoke to each other. Who knew that sorting cutlery could turn your life upside down. But it did. Believe it or not I can't find the words for what I want to say. It keeps getting better and I never expected (only hoped) for the chance to see if there is something more. And there is... and I'm so excited to see what that is and for the chance to make an amazing friendship even more incredible.

I've been saying how afraid I am of twenty. And I was. But this weekend has been the best weekend of my life. And I know that if twenty is anywhere near as good as this year it's going to be ok! And besides really - who isn't happy once they are no longer a teenager??