Its like a poison that invades every facet of my life

Have you ever been in a situation where even though something feels so close and so obtainable its really so far away? I think that's about where I am. If only it didn't seem so there... so close... so possible. Where's the emergency stop on the surreality rollercoaster? There is no semblance of reality here to shake me from my sleep. Wake me from my blissful slumber. Toss me from my bed. And even though I know the day gets closer when that will happen and I will be awoken in the rudest way possible I still continue to cling to my dreams.

I lost reality somewhere along the way and I can't seem to find it.

If you know where to find it, let me know.

I can't afford a reward cause I'm moving out on Sunday. I'm very happy about that. No roommates for a few weeks. Just lots of solitude which I crave. Of course next week I will be begging everyone to come over cause I'm bored and lonely... but I think I'll enjoy a night of alone first. When I'm alone I think too much.

And in the real world, where I do spend a wee bit of my time. I think I have a sleeping problem. Really what kind of person stays up till three every night and only gets five hours of sleep a night. Gawd. No wonder I'm burning out. I'm taking a week off. In that week I'm making my apartment fun to live in, I'm finishing my scrap book, I'm visiting the library and spending hours there every day reading the books on my list. I'm going to go to Skinny Phat and party till 3am and sleep till 3pm the next day. I might actually go swimming. I'm taking a day trip somewhere. I'm going home and I'm going to run up and down the beach and eat Mackies fries and drink Orangeade until I turn orange. Maybe I'll take two weeks off. (And with that last statement the real world drifts away again).

I'm on crack. I must be. There should be a rule against blogging at 2:30am - it might be a worse idea then drunk dialing.